Dear Neighbor Man:
Even though you smile at me sometimes in the morning and raise your hand in greeting, we are not friends. And our mutual love of our back porches is beginning to be problematic. I don't even know if you've noticed that I'm out here. Why? Because I'm sitting here quietly working on my laptop, a couple of candles burning, a cat - generally unobtrusive.
Could you take a tip from me and shut up?! Seriously, there's only three of you on the porch so you don't need to shout. Or if you do need to shout, it's only because you've got the classic rock turned up so loud you can't hear one another. Although from what I can tell, all three of you are absolute nitwits and not worth hearing anyway. And I don't mean to be unkind, but that woman you're with has a truly wretched laugh. I can't stand it. And she seems to think you and your other companion are exceedingly funny.
I really, really love my porch, so I can understand why you also love your porch - especially in this weather when it's so lovely to be outside and have the windows open. But I do not, I repeat DO NOT, need to hear Steve Miller Band's "Jet Airliner" at 2:30 this Sunday morning like I did last. Judging from the way you're just getting started over there with your shouting and your odious laughing and that ugly band of green lights you've got running around the railing, I'm not hopeful. But I just thought I'd ask. Maybe I should shout so you can hear me.
THANKS!
Ash
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Shut It!
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3 cat calls:
i feel your pain to the level that if you need me to i will start a letter writing campaign to his apt ASAP.
why do neighbors have to go so wrong when everything could go so right.
I know! I mean, frankly, I am such a good neighbor. I never throw big parties. I never take someone else's parking space (i.e. the random van from Tennessee that has been parked behind my house for weeks). I never disrupt the peace.
We have to share the outside space. That means 50/50. Not you share what you're doing with me.
We need new neighbors, Mendacious. Maybe we should move in next door to each other.
Good neighbors are priceless! If all goes well, we're going to be homeowners by the end of the month. We have great neighbors now in our little rental house, and I'm hoping we're that lucky when we move.
Good luck with your situation. If things don't get better soon...I think you should throw a party. Think of it as "festive retaliation".
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