My mother will admit that she didn't have it to give. And my father is obviously devoid of it. The Housekeeping Gene. There are those among us who think they don't have it either - but they do. They either are closet housekeepers or they have half of one, maybe an allele or two. But me? I don't have a trace of it. Not even a smidge. I wish I did. I wish reading a book or taking a course or my monthly dose of Real Simple would make me a better housekeeper. But I have some seemingly incurable habits and shortcomings:
* I hate washing dishes. And I have no dishwasher. For Scarlett, tomorrow was another day. For me, tomorrow is supposedly the day I'll do dishes - but don't.
* My most glaring character flaw is an inability to hang up my clothes after work. They end up in a big pile on the end of the ironing board. So that it is impossible to actually use the ironing board for it's proper function.
* Instead of putting things in their proper places, I put them in piles. "This mail goes to the trash. This pile is bills to pay." "This stack of tshirts goes in the armoire." "This bag from WalMart is all stuff to go under the bathroom cabinet." My house is littered with things that belong other places than where they are.
* I have a long-haired cat whose dander is a nightmare. It collects and tumbleweeds across the room. It shows up on my clothes, my furniture, and often my dinner.
* My father cleaned a blockage from the hose on my vacuum cleaner when he was here in July. It was the first time the stupid thing had worked in more than three years.
* Despite the infrequency with which I cook (because it dirties dishes), I manage to keep the refrigerator well-stocked with an assortment of unidentifiable inedibles.
* I have dry cleaning that I've missed a season wearing because I haven't made it to the dry cleaners.
I could go on and on. The things that need to be dusted. Scrubbed. Trashed. Bleached. The all-around unneatness of me. I'm Martha Stewart's worst nightmare. Other than having to wear one of those ankle bracelets again.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The Missing Link
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8 cat calls:
I have a sweater I haven't worn since year 2 of grad school because it hasn't yet made it to the dry cleaners. And it's such a pretty sweater.
I, unfortunately, can relate all too well to this list. I'm pretty good with putting things back in their place rather piling. I find it rather addictive. However, the Bender and Bailey hairpiles alone make up for this one advance. And then there was my realization yesterday that I haven't once mopped my kitchen floor since living here. We moved in last summer.
Mopping is so horrifying. I would rather (and have actually DONE) get down on my hands and knees with a bottle of Windex and a paper towel than actually mopping. And not because I think the floor will get cleaner this way-- becaue I JUST HATE MOPPING THAT MUCH.
I have a Swiffer. I've used it approximately 3 times. It's almost like the new car thing...it's like cleaning is disappointing because you know it will only be clean for like 2 seconds. Like my car is already kind of spotted up with rain, mud, etc. So what's the point of getting the floor all clean anyway? Mopping is overrated!
i knew there was a reason we were friends in first grade! i don't have the cleaning gene either - there is ALWAYS something more pressing than cleaning. piles are my life's work. also, i know schoolwork sucks when i procrastinate with cleaning.
p.s. mopping i don't mind, sweeping i do. the broom is the most ridiculous instrument man created. you can never, ever, never get all the dirt into the dustpan and then it gets all wet and clingy and you've got to get down there and use a towel anyway. sweeping = hate.
oh, did i mention that my new landlord thinks we should vacuum TWICE a week? i think that's the total number of times i vacuumed my room at my old place in as many years. glad landlady in thailand for two months.
I have a Swiffer as well. Every once in a great while, I pull it out and give it a go, thinking that this time, maybe this time, it will work well enough so that I don't have to use an additional broom and dustpan to pick up the excess. And every time, I swear I can hear my floor laughing at me.
Great post. I was actually thinking of something similar the other day and wanted to pose the question on my blog to see if anyone else had the same issues of the piles! I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one!! I mostly struggle with mail -- piles of magazines to be read or catalogs to flip through "in my spare time!", bills to be paid and filed, other random to-do piles (rsvp to this event, look around at gas rates and lock one in, compare return rates to decide best plan for CD that is maturing next month, etc.)
jMy boss has this theory that you should only touch a piece of paper once - it's the most efficient thing to do. So, she RSVPs to events immediately so that she only touches the invite once. It's all about making a decision immediately. If only I could adopt this theory...but instead, I have a pile of things that need file, respond to, put away...I even pile things in the refrigerator that need to be thrown away but I want to wait until just before trash day so they don't smell. My boss would not approve.
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