Reverse Psychology

The Barrister and I watched the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance while we put on our own production of So You Think You Can Decorate, which resulted in, I'm sorry to say, a series of rather large misplaced nail holes before we finally got the quadrant of photos hung reasonably straight. Due to the starring role landed by a former contestant, every commercial break featured the trailer for the remake of Fame.

By the end of the show, The Barrister and I were standing in the middle of his living room, admiring our acceptable handiwork when the trailer ran for the 47th time. The Barrister paused, watched a few moments of the trailer and then said, "You know, if you wanted to go see that, I wouldn't say no."

If I wanted to go, huh?

On the Fringe

In case you missed the hour-forty-five premiere of J.J. Abram's Fringe on Fox tonight, there's an encore presentation on Sunday night. I found it...pretty riveting. Definitely kept me guessing, intrigued, questioning. And let's not forget about the eye candy. Here are some reasons you should watch:

1) Josh Jackson = hot, and I have a particularity to him since I once had my picture taken with him (true story)
2) Crazy mad scientists
3) There's science that you're pretty sure isn't real but then...you kind of wonder
4) Nobody ever has the right amount of clearance to get all the information
5) Josh Jackson = hot
6) For the few men who read this blog, there's a scene featuring the lead female in a rather scanty black bra & panty ensemble
7) The Pattern (the sinister puzzle we'll be puzzling out along the way)
8) Because it's J.J. Abrams and you know people are going to be talking about it around the water cooler
9) Josh Jackson = hot
10) For the love of God, haven't I killed enough TV shows? Help me boost the ratings, people.

Tube Bits

As pointed out by the illustrious Pen, the fall TV season is upon us. I'm notorious for killing shows by liking them (like...Women's Murder Club, Studio 60, Carnivale...), but I remain undeterred and reviewed the fall lineup for this year's possibilities.

I will continue, of course, watching ProRun through the fall, and I confess, I got hooked into the premiere of Top Design the other night. Any show that includes the quote, "Every gay has a dog. Get over it." is one I'm likely to watch. Plus, they're going to be doing an episode where they design for former ProRun contestants including Santino and ANDRE!!! I can hardly wait to find out what happened to Andre!

I'll be adding to my regular ProRun viewing as other shows begin premiering - like HOUSE which premiers onthe 16th, and I AM STOKED - and I've decided to give a few new(er) shows a watch or two and see if they feel like regulars.

Fringe premieres this Tuesday at 9 p.m. on Fox. From J.J. Abrams of Lost and Alias fame, this is another puzzling conspiracy theory. And it includes the bonus of Josh Jackson - Pacey's all grown up y'all. I think I would've liked Lost if I had gotten hooked into it at the right time, so I'm going to be a good girl and watch the first ep and ride the wave with everybody else.

The Big Bang Theory starts on the 22nd at 8 on CBS. It's in its second season, so maybe I won't kill it just be checking on the first few eps of season 2. I need a little comedy in my life, and while House is hilarious, it's darkly so, and I hope maybe this will infuse a little light-hearted geek-omedy into my life.

Chuck, also in its second season, starts again on the 29th at 8 p.m. on NBC. The marketing team has done a stellar job on this one. The promos have me intrigued enough to tune in for the premiere. The question is will it deliver enough to keep me tuned in.

Big Bang and Chuck are in a competing time slot, as are Project Runway and Do Not Disturb, a new Fox comedy that I considered. Plus, I'll be picking up Grey's and possibly E.R. for old time's sake when they return, so it's questionable how many shows I'll really have the time and inclination to watch.

So much boob tube. So little time.

Threesdays: I'm Just Not That Into You

* Amy Winehouse: her whereabouts, her in-and-out relationship with rehab, her crazy husband who is currently incarcerated, her signature beehive, her insistence on wearing ballet slippers everywhere...and her music. Yeah, I don't get it. I didn't drink the Kool-Aid. It's just not that great to me.

* The Hills: Lauren and Heidi and Audrina and...I don't even know anymore. Everyone's all aflutter over whether or it's real or fake, and I just can't watch a show featuring a guy who's last name is "Pratt." I mean, I get that it's entertainment, and if you dig it, so be it. But me? So disinterested.

* Ashley Dupre: I really don't care about the high-class hooker that got Elliot Spitzer booted from the NY Gov's office. I don't care how much Larry Flynt offered her to pose for Penthouse. Or that she was spotted on Girls Gone Wild as an 18-year-old. I don't care where she lives or what her sad, sad story is. I don't want to be her friend on MySpace. And I'm not sorry.

Ash's Must-See TV

While I'm not usually one for regularly scheduled programs, particularly the network fare, I find myself parking it in front of the boob tube on a regular basis these days. It's a commentary on the gripping life I lead...but you know, if you're looking for something to watch, and Pen's regularly scheduled programming hasn't let you to what you seek, check out these prime-time gems.

Monday - 8 p.m., GPTV, Antiques Roadshow
Okay, so I know it's kind of lame that I watch Antiques Roadshow with my parents every Monday. But it makes them happy and it appeals to my nerdy love of odd history and such. Plus, it's always a bonus when someone from the bowels of south Georgia comes up with a piece of pottery they bought for a quarter at a garage sale that's worth $20k. I'm getting really good at spotting which ones are going to be big-tickets.

Tuesday - 9 p.m., Fox, House
I love this show. I love this man - this odious, cynical, unjust, brilliant man. I want to be verbally and emotionally abused by Gregory House. I can't get enough of the wicked humor and quirky relationships on this show. (And I missed it tonight because I erroneously thought it was a rerun - egads!)

Wednesday, 10 p.m., Bravo, Project Runway
Tim Gunn alongside a cardboard box would entertain me. The fact that he's surrounded by 15 catty designing divas and the caricature-ish Michael Kors and Nina Garcia really ups the ante for me. Carry on!

Friday, 8 p.m., Men in Trees
Think of this show, now in its second season, as Northern Exposure meets Sex and the City. Other than the fact that I sometimes space out for a second or two thinking about how odd Anne Heche is in real life, I love her character Marin, a relationship coach jilted by her high-profile fiance who then retreats to Alaska. She hosts a radio show, and her monologue is often very Carrie Bradshaw-esque. The scenery is gorgeous and the supporting cast is equally charming - including Orlando Jones as a very persnickety gay man partnered by Mario Cantone of S&TC fame.

Friday, 9 p.m., Women's Murder Club
I know, I know. I virtually just assured myself a spot in the Single Cat Lady Hall of Fame with this admission. And Kim may no longer be my friend because the lead, Angie Harmon, just happens to be the sister of the sinister and much-hated Mark Harmon. (Ask her, she'll tell you the story.) But it's a good show. And it also features Rob Estes, who starred in the USA Network Original Series Silk Stalkings, of which I was a big fan. I never quite got over the death of his character Sgt. Chris Lorenzo, so I'm really just happy to see him alive.

Addendum: After consulting IMDB, I have discovered that Angie Harmon is actually no relation to Mark Harmon. Kim, consider yourself cleared to join the Women's Murder Club.

Project Runway: My Two Fashion Cents

It's back. It's time to gather round, people, and make it work. And last night's premier of Project Runway promised all the drama, cattiness and fashion that make it so magically delicious. So here's how the competition stacks up.

Carmen - I like her, but she also has that sort of aggressive Laura-vibe about her. I thought her design last night was interesting even if I didn't love it. Prediction: A strong contender to make it through to the late stages unless overconfidence or bizarre design get in her way.

Chris - A wild card. I liked his dress last night - I thought the purple fabric was gorgeous. He could also teeter toward one of those whose designs never have the wow factor. Prediction: Must wait and see.

Christian - The New Austin Scarlett. Love him. Love his wacky haircut. Love his sass. Love all of his interviews. And liked his design - didn't love the fabric, but I thought the design was interesting. Prediction: Strong contender for the final three.

Elisa - Totally bizarre and over the top. I think she's the new Vincent. And not in a good way. Prediction: Auffed over extreme creative differences with the judges (but great television while she's still around).

Jack - Beautiful dress. I thought was lovely and wearable. Which may get him into trouble for not establishing a stronger point of view. Prediction: A strong contender, although from the previews, it looks like something horrible will be revealed by him at some point.

Jillian - I think Jillian has potential, but for some reason, I can see her being one that has a challenge where she totally flips out and doesn't get it done. Prediction: Auffed in the later part

Kevin - He's trying to be the new Jeffrey/Santino with his elegance-with-an-edge. Didn't love his work last night, but I reserve judgment here. Prediction: Another wait and see.

Kit Pistol - I like Kit Pistol (just because I think that's an awesome name) and I think she has a strong and different POV. I could see her hanging in there into the late game. Prediction: Contender.

Marion - I noticed last night that Marion was largely ignored in the storyline, which made me wonder how important he'll be. I felt totally blase about his garment a la Robert last season. Prediction: (Yawn) Auffed early

Rami - Fabulous. Beautiful garment. I hope he doesn't get drape-obsessed like Uli did with the billowy dresses. Could be my one sticking point with him. Prediction: Definite contender for top three.

Ricky - Three words: What happened to Andre? Prediction: Auffed, but not before a spectacular meltdown

Simone - Boring. Auffed. Reminded me of the first one to go in Season 2, who, sadly, was from Georgia.

Steven - Steven, Steven, Steven. Could be fabulous. Or take a total turn for the worst. I think, if Steven keeps his head together, that he could be a contender. Prediction: Possible maniac, possible fashionista.

Sweet P - Hmmm. I get a bad feeling about Sweet P - like she's going to annoy me to no end and produce clothes that she really likes and believes in and will justify til she's blue in the face even though we can all tell they're ugly. Like Angela last season? Prediction: Auffed at the halfway.

Victorya - She definitely got the Kara Saun/Chloe Dao vibe about her. She's very together, less eccentric than the other designers. I'm expecting elegant, chic work from her that I totally love. Prediction: Judges will coo over her consistency. Final three contender.

Thoughts, fellow ProRun aficionados?

Note to Self

Throughout the day, I tend to write down an ongoing list of things to remember on a post-it note stuck to my desk - some are things to do, some the beginnings of blog posts and others are mysteriously vague. Inevitably, these notes end up stuck in the bottom of my purse or in pockets. Here's a sampling of those sorted through this evening:

* Jeans
* Prom jewelry
* War with the rock star
* Olives
* Knitters
* Shred credit card bills
* Check out Heatmiser
* The Gates of Hell
* Jenny Ray's birthday (see? I didn't forget altogether...)
* Bathroom stall
* Call STGD
* International Delights
* "Wide Unbroken Skies"
* Don't forget Mel
* 8:30 sharp, out by 9:30
* House is on tonight
* Mom - side dish, insurance
* B Spears new album?

Things I Haven't Seen But Don't Like

* Highschool Musical Two - So so so (so so so) tired of seeing over-makeupped Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens (clothes on or off)

* Hannah Montana - Just the name Miley Cyrus makes me shudder

* Dancing with the Stars - I can't believe that Marie Osmond's collapse was the top news of the day - since the west coast is on fire and the east coast has no water...

* Saw 4 - Creepy mask. Creepy voice. For the fourth time.

* Paris Hilton's new movie - These four words together say it all.

Quarterlife

Because I'm always the last one to get with the program, I'm not on MySpace. But I might get on it this fall. MySpace is launching its first TV show, Quarterlife. Brought to you by the producers of thirtysomething and - yes, excitement please - My So-Called Life, the show will meet the generation in between the two previous hits, tackling a crowd of twentysomethings who share a house and record their thoughts on blogs. The show will air in 8 minute segments on MySpaceTV and then be available on Quarterlife.com. As you might guess, the show will feature interactive components, with all of the cast maintaining MySpace profiles and actual blogs. The 36 episodes will be released twice a week starting November 11. I hesitate to say that I'm going to watch this - you know I tend to doom shows that way.

Missed Opportunities

Because of my poor timing, I have missed the opportunity to be Federline's next baby mama. He's in Wilmywood right now filming episodes of One Tree Hill. Supposedly, he's playing a "cocky rock star." Anyone else who thinks K-Fed's appearance on the show will seal its demise?

Since I have moved away and will be unable to attend, I'll have to count on the ladies I left behind in Wilmywood to bask in his greatness. Pen? Mel? I wonder that he's able to take the gig since he's working so hard in L.A. to prove himself worthy of sole custody of the Federspawn. Of course, Britney's making it easy for him to look good, since the most recent reports I read said that she's fled the country. Oh, K-Fed.

Nerd Alert

As if the spate of Harry Potter posting didn't tip you off, I'm going to seal the bargain: I am a nerd.

For the past few weeks, I've been watching Simon Schama's The Power of Art on PBS, which comes on a couple of hours after my mother's weekly dose of Antiques Roadshow. The Power of Art is like Behind the Music: Classical Art. Each one is about the rise to heady success, the onset of arrogance, the downfall, and the death in utter disgrace. It's kind of addictive. And I'm mildly in love with Schama, an affable British historian who possesses something of a Tim Gunn air about him. He strolls through galleries in the same open-collar white button-up and black tailored jacket in each episode and tosses out pithy, almost gossipy information about each of the artists and their masterworks. Like Bernini, a sculptor who committed adultery, only to find his brother was doing the same with the same woman, and therefore sent a servant to slash his mistress's face with a razor blade.

I'm no art critic, and, in fact, have very little real understanding of the meaning of most art. But Schama makes these artists into the rock stars of the day, celebrities mingling among the rich and powerful until they decide to make a scandalous statement with their work. It is his exploration of their work that I find so fascinating. The way he talks about it, wandering through the veriest details, it is so captivating that suddenly I can see why David's The Death of Marat is unholy and beautiful and transcendent and treason. And after he raptured about the exquisitely fine line between reverence and revelry in Bernini's The Ecstasy of St. Therese, I hope I get to see it firsthand before I die.

There are only eight episodes, and I'm sorry to say I missed three of them - Van Gogh (featuring Andy Serkis as Van Gogh!), Picasso and Caravaggio. I saw Bernini, Rembrandt and David, and still have Turner and Rothko to go. The show is an absolute culture clash in my mind: art deemed so great that it demanded reverence and an explication of it the brings in all the messy passion and rebellion and irreverence. It is art historian meets Perez Hilton. And I can't get enough.

Set Your DVR!

By trying to figure out what project Bradley Whitford is in next, I just discovered that NBC is going to revive Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip! Well, by that I mean air at least one episode. On May 24 at 10, the next episode in the series "Breaking News" will pick up where the show left off. IMDB's summary says, " Jordan faces a scare with her pregnancy. Tom must deal with a crisis. Matt's drug habit is no longer a secret." NBC's site notes that Allison Janney (my hero C.J. from Sorkin's The West Wing) will be guest starring as the show's host. No subsequent airings are listed on IMDB or NBC, but I recall that there were between 5-10 episodes that never aired. I'll take what I can get. Woohoo!

I Feel Irrationally Angry Because Of...

...Fergie's voice...and Muppet face...

...the Burger King commercial with the fat man who pretends to be Spongebob Nopants...

...the fact that a show called "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" can be a phenomenon in this country...

...being almost 28 and getting breakouts...enough already...

...ridiculous media spin...

...running out of Skittles again...

Scooby Doo, Where are You?

It saddens me to report that the creator of Scooby Doo died today at the age of 81. He also did animation work on Disney classics like Cinderella and Peter Pan, but his crowning achievement was the sleuthing Great Dane and "gang." Scooby Doo was undoubtedly my favorite cartoon as a kid, and I admit to watching it a great deal in college - it used to come on the Cartoon Network at 2 a.m. before they only played weird cartoons. I was a little bit in love with Shaggy for a time. Maybe I still am. Rest in peace, friend.

Wednesday Knight Comedy Emergency

The previews for two new shows on ABC intrigued me enough to watch the pilots. "Knights of Prosperity" is the story of a motley crew of people stuck in dead-end jobs who decide to rob Mick Jagger (and subsequent celebrities) to fund their dreams. Any left over monies will be given to charities of their choosing - including feline AIDS. Best character is a tie between Rockefeller, the giant black guy who has the best lines, and Louis, the skinny white guy who gets drawn into the group thinking he's going to be an intern on Taxi 2 starring Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah.


And following was "In Case of Emergency" about a group of people from the same high school graduating class starring Jonathan Silverman, David Arquette, Kelly Hu, Lori Loughlin and Greg Gormann. Based on the pilot, I'd say this one is the more entertaining of the two. In the first ten minutes, Gormann's character, a motivational diet guru, hijacks a dessert truck after his wife leaves him. Arquette shoots himself in the foot trying to commit suicide, and Silverman meets up with Hu in a house of ill repute - him, a failed writer turned greeting card hack and she the former valedictorian.

I'll be tuning in next week to see if both hold up to the promise of the pilots. Just for giggles.

Bringing Hysterical Back

In case you missed Justin Timberlake on SNL this weekend, please watch the following video. Please. Because then you, too, will have "Dick in a Box" stuck in your head.

The Cold Hard Truthiness

"We know Iraq is not the president's fault. George W. Bush was appointed to the presidency by God himself. And God don't appoint no junk." - Stepen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Spare Me 60 Seconds for Studio 60

Dear NBC Studio Execs:
Please be like Jordan McDeere. Please understand that not all of us want to watch 17 hours straight of reality television - with all due respect to those who do. But please, NBC, I've heard the rumblings. I knows you've been making cuts and that my dear Studio 60 hasn't been holding up in the ratings. But, please, I beg you. Don't axe it.

Take a look around at the brilliant but cancelled shows that litter the past few years - Arrested Development. People wish that was still on TV. They campaign for it to be back on television. There are tshirts for that!! And they'll wish this was on TV if you snatch it away from us all. Because it's smart. It's funny. It's entertainment that isn't spoon-fed drivel.

And Sarah Paulson? She's amazing. She knocks my socks off. The whole cast is fantastic. It's fantastic, thoughtful acting. The way The West Wing portrayed the president we long for, Studio 60 shows a side of Hollywood we hope for - the side with a brain.

I was a little desperate when I heard the rumors, and my friend Kim looked it up and told me it's in the top 20 podcast downloads. See? See there? The rich people with the iPods are loving your show. Then I read an article that suggested people aren't interested because they don't have anything in common with the high-powered studio execs portrayed on the show. Like I've got so much in common with the ladies of Wisteria Lane. Or the detectives on CSI. And frankly, I don't have enough money to buy Manolo Blahniks - probably never will - but I love Sex & the City with all my heart.

The only thing I need to have in common with this show is we need to be together on Monday nights at 10. Seriously. This is my return to network television. Don't let me down. Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

XO,
Ash

P.S. Did I mention how much I love Bradley Whitford?

A Dear John Letter

Dear John:
I stayed up really late to see you on The Tonight Show last night. And that's a sacrifice for a working girl like me (especially when my neighbor was out on his porch shouting AGAIN at 6 AM this morning, but that's another story). Your performance did not disappoint, but, John, dear, what were you wearing? Seriously, this is national television, and you kind of looked like you just got out of bed. That long robe-y looking coat and the pajama pants and those Chuck Taylors that looked - dare I say it - like platform sneakers? You looked a bit disheveled.

Did you check out the guy next to you before you went on stage? Your backup vocal guitar player? He was wearing a shirt and tie and pressed pants and looked rather dapper. And I know that's not you, but look at this picture I found of you - this is much, much better. A nice t-shirt, some rock star jeans, and that guitar is fabulous.

So anyway, John, I just wanted to say, check yourself in the mirror next time. You're a good-looking guy - I know you can work it. But stellar performance. That guitar solo was hot. And you've won me over on the new hair. Love the new album. Keep up the good work.

XOXO,
Ash

Tonight on NBC

Another stellar episode of Studio 60. Although I might be developing an overly large crush on Bradley Whitford. Eh, what's done is done. They're doing a brilliant job of hints and allegations about all the relationships between the characters and creating a sense of tension through the whole show. I admire them for eeking out the storylines instead of trying to spill out all the back story in the first few episodes. Mystery is where it's at. And great laughs. Next week's episode looks even better.

Also, JOHN MAYER is on the Tonight Show tonight. And YES, I am staying up to watch. Because I'm a good fan like that. Review tomorrow - even if I am the only one reading this blog who cares.