Dear Romance Writers of America:
I hope you're happy. I've tried to keep silent on this issue, but the book I received in the mail today has forced me out in the open. It's quite likely I will be stripped of my MFA for writing this letter, but it's time. You must be confronted.
Admitting that you read pulp romance novels is akin to admitting you have a crack habit. Or cross dress. Or enjoy playing the bongos naked and high. So please, help a girl out. I ordered a book that I was hoping to read on one of the plane rides I'll be taking over the next few weeks. Taking it out of the envelope, I noted that the cover was a little pink, a little girly, but bearable. And then BAM! The back cover detoured right past the Tasteville exit and went straight down to Smutty Town.
Now, I have read a lot of these books. And this particular one takes place in Regency England. I'm pretty sure there's not going to be a scene where our heroine is pressed against a tree in a flimsy dress with half her bosom showing while she's molested from the shirtless reject from the Iron Man competition. I DO NOT want to see Conan the Barbarian on my book cover.
I know there's going to be some steaminess in this book. But let's keep it inside the covers, okay? I don't want to see these women swooning so hard their clothes are falling off. And really. Do we need to be subjected to so many male nipples?
In conclusion, I'd like to say that it is my belief that many intelligent and sensible women, like myself, for whatever reason, enjoy these kinds of novels. We don't want to admit it our next board meeting, but we don't mind it on the airplane. Unless we're going to have to flash the guy next to us with Boobs & Brawn: A Love Story. So please, PLEASE, cover up on the cover. 'Kay?
Love & Semi-Nudity,
Ashley
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Steamed
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7 cat calls:
Ashley, you and David's 90 year old grandmother have a common bond!
It kills me when I see her retirement village apartment filled with heaving bosoms! I hope I'm down with some steaminess when I'm 90!
heh.
@saic i had a class that made us look at genre writing and try to generate it- it scarred me for life- especially since the hipster named tom got "betrayal" replete with a bright pink cover and the mad-dashing heroine/he-man... and i got like a scott patterson novel... he got 'wow, he's subversive' looks on the train- and i got no attn whatsoever. i'm jus sayin. it's a no win situation.
Man, you guys are prudes. I ALWAYS swoon so hard that my clothes fall off. Whoops! See? Just did it then.
I hope I'm going to see some of that swooning action at the wedding this weekend! Does this mean Ben won't be wearing a shirt at the reception??
The plane-reading thing reminds of the time I sat next to a guy reading Maxim. I thought nothing of it, but before he opened it up and started perusing the "articles" he turned to me and asked, "Do you mind if I read this?" He was apparently concerned about offending me with the scantily clad women in between the covers. I laughed and said I didn't mind, and then we began a conversation about the appropriateness of reading Playboy on a plane.
In other news, I once read an article that married women who read trashy romance have more/better sex. I'm just sayin...
I'm confused why they'd save the good picture for the back cover. If you're going to use it to draw people to the book, why put it on the back? You could always fold the front cover around to cover up the back as you read. You should have checked out Jennifer Crusie; girly on the outside, steamy inside! Good stuff.
Andi, I go through phases where I like to read historical romances and then I go back to modern ones. I'm stuck in the past right now, but I've got Jennifer Crusie written down as someone to check out when I get back to the present.
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