I am Bill Lumbergh

Dear Coworkers:
Please forgive me. I have turned into Bill Lumbergh. It's not my fault, really. I didn't want to have to get involved with this (aptly dubbed by one of you) I-Robot of a system. But get involved I did.

In the beginning, it was about saving you from another software trainer who could be much, much worse than me. However, at this point, I've been drawn into the matrix. I'm no longer sure what we can manipulate in the system setup and what the system will default on, override or spill blood to maintain. I'm not sure which pill I took or if there is a spoon, but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have eye problems from scrutinizing all these tiny little menus. But I won't complain about that here, because really, this is about apologizing to you, my fellow colleagues, for the pain I have inflicted on you this week.

Tomorrow we're going to talk about numbers - just when you thought it couldn't get worse. And just so you know, I-Robot is watching you. I stumbled upon the system log tonight. I know what every one of you did in the system today. I didn't mean to know. And I didn't mean to start saying things like "The system will automatically populate the fields" and "We have to establish protocol for project entry" but I did. I'd like to close by saying I'm sorry in advance for the memo about the TPS reports. And for the fax machine. And for making you potentially lose your Christmas holidays. I hope this doesn't mean someone's going to burn down the office.

Regretfully,
Lumbergh