A Public Service Announcement: Drink Water

"I've seen her get dehydrated, sir. It's pretty gross." - John Bender, The Breakfast Club

We at the Kudzu Jungle would like to offer a public service announcement to remind our readers to drink water. Water is what keeps your body hydrated and all of your important bodily functions going smoothly. Here are some interesting facts about water that you may not know.

* When you fly, your body loses moisture. Score one for dehydration!

* When you're busy with wedding activities, and forget to drink water, your body becomes even more dehydrated.

* Dancing like a maniac for approximately four hours will cause your body to lose moisture through the persistent sheen of sweat created from your devotion to classics like "Shout" and "Respect".

* Red wine does not rehydrate your body as effectively as water.

* Cramping in the toes, ankles and calves while square dancing to "Cotton Eye Joe" is a sign that you should drink water without delay.

* Dehydration can cause you to feel tired, dizzy and nauseated, especially when combined from sheer exhaustion after dancing like it's your job for four hours in a dress meant to keep all of your internal organs from having enough room to function.

* At the above stated point of dehydration, two bottles of water consumed during the night when you wake up every thirty minutes in abject misery will not replenish your shriveled body fast enough.

* The only sure way to make dehydration more fun is to throw up the next morning.

* Muscles and joints depleted of water during dehydration may feel like Tony Soprano took a tire iron to them as was the case with my knees this morning.

* Dehydration may remind you that you aren't 18 anymore and that you should have spent more time sitting in the chair like a well-behaved lady.

* Dehydration is not fun when all you can eat for breakfast is dry Cheerios and a half a banana before getting on the plane.

So, kids, remember. Drink your water - Dasani, Evian, sparkling, still, on the rocks or from the tap - wet your whistle. You'll be glad you did.