I am starting to recognize a basic difference in the people I encounter as I go about creating some semblance of a life here. First, there are the Nice People. Nice People make up a great deal of the population surrounding you. Sort of like that old Seasame Street song - "These are the people in your neighborhood." You may encounter them daily - or just once. You can have a polite conversation with them. They may ask what you do, and you may feign interest in what they do. You may give them the basic vital statistics of your life (age, education, family, interests) and they will return the favor (marital status, children, pets, coffee drinker or not). Among these vital statistics, you may find commonalities. But they don't matter, because the Nice People will always be merely Nice People.
I went to lunch last week with one of the Nice People, which reminded me of the other part of the population. The small, rarefied part of the population that must be searched out, mined and cultivated. These are the Connection People. These are the people with whom the cross reference of vital statistics has no bearing. The commonalities are inconsequential. These people, the Connection People, are the people who make you feel alive when they talk about walking their dog. The Connection People create sparks and energy. They surge forward from the neutral beige of the Nice People with vivid, audacious color. Like magnets, you attract. You connect, lock together. Human Legos. (And no, I don't know those people, but I loved the photo so much I had to share - especially since it says "Cheetah '98" in the lower right corner - but I digress...).
Awash in a sea of Nice People, I am trying to sift through the sand and find those precious Connection People. In fits and starts, there are glimmers of Connection. But I need more. Not to mention that it makes me a bit sad to know that to most of the people I've met, I'm just another one of the Nice People, too.
Monday, November 05, 2007
On Meeting People
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This is always the hardest part of moving somewhere new, starting a new job, etc. There are plenty of Nice People in the world, but they never seem to be able to do much to make you feel like you really belong. I've been in St. Louis for over three years, and all of my Connection People have slowly moved away. The last two of them are leaving next month. It feels like I'm in a strange place full of Nice People all over again, and I can't find any of my Connections.
P.S. Another great post.
I'm always freaked out that I'll become one of the nice people. (And yes, I know how that sounds.)
praying for your new friendships with Connection People- reading this made me think of when we left Vesta's the first time we met, and you said, "well, you're an oak hill girl now" and i knew we would be friends. and i am so blessed to know you.
Ah, the elusive Connection People. It's hardest when you move to a new place, for sure, but I think we all seek out the CPs throughout our lives.
I think it must be all about chemistry--I figure if someone thinks I'm just a Nice Person, then clearly they're doing nothing for me, either.
Be careful, though, because sometimes people that you think are Connection People? Are actually Psychotic People. And then you're totally stuck.
You are me were more like static cling people-- we were bound together by electricity, AND we smell good!
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