Fashion Espionage

Tomorrow, I'm going to the Azalea Festival Garden Party in historic Airlie Gardens. We'll all stand around under the giant live oaks drinking gin and tonics and eating East Carolina barbecue to the sounds of the band who will undoubtedly be wearing seersucker suits and playing "When the Saints Go Marching In." And while the majority of these people "aren't from 'round here," they'll all play Deep South for the day. Women will wear all manner of floral-printed sundresses and giant hats and men will wear madras pants and pastel blazers.

And in the grand tradition of it all, I decided to go by TJ Maxx after work to see if I too could find some sort of appropriate head accoutrement. Instead, I encountered Miranda, office executive assistant by day and personal stylist by night. Before I knew it, she was shoving me toward the fitting rooms with 7 garments in my hand.

I fell in love with one of the dresses. A dress that I loved despite its requiring a strapless bra. And even though I worried that its babydoll shape might be a bit young for me. I loved it. Needed it. Had to have it. But it was a bit too big. No matter, I thought. I remembered seeing a smaller size on the rack.

When I went back, there was a woman there who was clearly almost twice my age - with my dress. I waited 35 minutes for her to go the dressing room with it. I figured she would try it on, decide it was way too young for her, and discard it - for me.

I lurked one row over from her. Followed her through the shoes and the handbags. That's where Allison, another officemate, found me leaning against the size sixes, peering through the last row of purses, my eye on the fitting room door. And finally, after 45 minutes of waiting, the woman emerged, carrying not one but two of my dress. She kept holding them up and considering them.

I lost my patience. "Excuse me," I said. "If you decide you don't want either one of those dresses, will you let me know? Because I really want it." She had the next two sizes down from the one I had. And gave me the smaller. I felt sad, thinking there was no way it would fit. But it did! Hurrah!

Almost two hours after getting there, after an insane debacle in the checkout counter, I left TJ Maxx, feeling rather satisfied that my stakeout had paid off. Tomorrow, I will be a precious magnolia in bloom.