Wednesday, January 10, 2007

A Little Algebraic Word Problem

Person A is assigned to carry jobs X, Y and Z. Person B is assigned to carry jobs P, Q, R and S. The combined weight of jobs XYZ is half the weight of jobs PQRS. Person A has twice the amount of time to finish jobs XYZ as Person B has to finish jobs PQRS. However, the completion of jobs XYZ by Person A is complicated by the addition of job L, which is outside of the jobs subset (defined as work not assigned by the company, or as work that should be completed in Person A's free time).

Person A divides jobs XYZ among a variable quantity of people who should not be involved in the equation and then raises complaints to the nth degree. For right answers accidentally derived in jobs XYZ (or earned by the variable quantity of other people), Person A will take full credit.

Person B derives the completion of jobs QPRS by adding the square root of sanity to the average number of swear words uttered in closed door meetings about Person A.

7 cat calls:

penelope said...

Person A=suck-up bastard.

Anonymous said...

If Person A were pushed off the Cape Fear Memorial Bridge at a velocity of two times her average laziness, would anyone care?

Cue said...

I've never been able to solve equations like this. (Clearly.) Good luck, sister.

Anonymous said...

Can I be Person D, who enters the equation by throwing sharp objects at Person A?

mendacious said...

if i didn't have such a fear of math i'm sure i would've totally enjoyed that last post. but i'll just believe what the comment people say as i couldn't get past the blur of math and the palpatation that followed.

Kim said...

As a typical Person B, I empathize with this story. I wish I had the capability to rise up and call Person A out on their ineptitude, but sadly, I am far too meek for such office warfare...

By the way, who is Person A? Please e-mail me!

Anonymous said...

If person A were carried away by a large flying monkey, would anyone care? It is doubtful, due to the simple fact that the probability of this happening equals the probability of Person A completing X, Y or Z.