In Case of Emergency

Dear Mom:
If something unforeseen happens, please excuse the state of my apartment. You know, the fifty-something pairs of shoes in the floor. Whatever's left in the fridge that's unidentifiable. The partially scooped-out litter box. Piles of clothes waiting to be hung up. And the bathroom. Let's not even go there - it's a bit mildewy. But rest assured, the house may not be clean, but at the very least, the underwear I'm wearing tomorrow will be.

Love,
Ashley