Flirtation Flabbergastation is a condition, often experienced by single women in a crowded room overly populated by Creepy Singles (homosapien desperatus). Onset includes an uneasy sensation when in the sights of a Creepy Single, clearly approaching to "chat you up." Further symptoms include a slight panic followed by furtive glances and agitation if there is no escape route.
You may encounter a slightly sweaty handshake coupled with overly aggressive eye contact. In turn you may begin to sweat. It may become difficult to smile. You may lose your train of thought in the very uncomfortable situation.
Attempt to alleviate the symptoms with forced laughter and comments on the weather. Focus on the affirmation of being flirted with rather than the alarming need to get away from a Creepy Single. Try not to be suffocated by the air of desperation emitted by his poor attempts to be witty and charming. Instead, use telepathic energy to direct the people near you - anyone? - to save you from the situation.
It is very important to remain calm as Flirtation Flabbergastation takes hold; after all, egos are fragile and treatment must be applied judiciously and with tact.
If symptoms do not subside and the situation becomes chronic, look at your empty glass and excuse yourself. If at all possible, escape without dispensing your business card to avoid a relapse. Try not to vomit when you are unable to do so and instead hand over a small white card with your cell phone number on it. Ugh.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Flirtation Flabbergastation
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 cat calls:
Oh no!! You need to create some fake business cards to keep on top for these types of situations (since you might find yourself in them more as you venture out!)
There used to be a phone number you could give people, and when they called it, a message told them that you weren't interested.
Kurt, if you find this number, please post. I will have faux business cards made up PRONTO.
Oh I remember this awkward feeling sooooo vividly. I'm cringing for you.
ewww. that's rough! i was going to post the same as andria- i thought i had a clever new idea. wow. i was too late to give the good advice! sorry for the awkwardness- i hope you find that number kurt was talking about!
For the number Kurt's talking about, go to www.rejectionhotline.com. It's seriously hilarious. They have local numbers for each city, Athens included.
Post a Comment