Dear Lowe's Food:

I was going to say thank you for taking the giant bags of Skittles off the two-for-five-dollars sale. When I noticed the absence of the yellow sales tag, I thought for sure I'd be saved from myself. My need to taste the rainbow has recently spiraled out of control. Unfortunately, your non-sale price is only five cents more. I bought two bags anyway. Please, for the love of my pants, increase the price to something I can't justify - like $10 a bag.

Thanks ever so much.
Skittleholics Anonymous