The New Company I work for has an annual retreat. And aside from all of the anxious feelings this conjures for me about traveling, get-to-know-you games, the possibility of having to do a trust fall into my coworkers' arms, and the idea that at some point, I may be forced to chant a motivational phrase, I'm pretty stoked about the all-expenses-paid trip to Savannah.
After the staff meeting the other day, a few of us were asking what to expect of an officemate who went last year. The discussion came round to the attendance of spouses and significant others. Spouses are invited; significant others are not. So far, I've been able to ascertain that two of my coworkers are married, three are in serious relationships and one is a mystery to me. But one of the girls who is in a serious relationship said that she felt disappointed that her BF wasn't invited. "I'm never away from him. I just don't think I can have a good time without him."
I debated about whether to post this, but days later, it's nagging me still. I was astonished at her very real distress about being away from her boyfriend for three days. And I understand that she's going to miss him, but to say that she couldn't have a good time without him? I didn't know what to say.
In general, I like to advocate for not judging. But I admit, in that moment, I full on judged her. I may be judging her still. It's shaded my whole outlook on her as a person - like somehow, this one earnest statement make her a certain kind of person. And judgment or no, wrong or right, I just know that I don't want to ever hear those words come out of my mouth.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Say What?!
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5 cat calls:
Yeah... ditto.
yah, seriously. i hope in some ways you can drop inspiring phrases into her life that will make her see that she is an individual and can live joyfully regardless.
yikes!
tell us more about the co-workers!
Scary.
What's really scary is that it's considered acceptable for an office to limit whom one is allowed to bring to this retreat. In this day and age, many people choose not to get married, or aren't allowed to do so b/c of our ridiculous government thinking they have a say in our lives. I think either you can bring a guest, or you can't bring a guest. Shouldn't matter what the relationship of that guest is to you. That being said, that girl needs to get a life. :)
It's a pretty progressive company, so I don't think it's in any way meant to discriminate against same-sex partners. And I'm pretty sure if you made a push for bringing someone along, they'd acquiesce. I guess it's more of a logistics thing - there's an easy delineation there. Whatever the case, I'm pretty sure it will be good for her to be on her own for a weekend.
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