Dear Co-Workers:

For the sake of my sanity on this torrentially rainy Monday morning, please end your hour-long conversation about your respective weddings. My understanding that one of you is getting married this week only extends so far. And my patience with the other, whose nuptials aren't even this calendar year, was extinguished nearly 45 minutes ago (either by the deluge of rain or the gust of my exasperated sighs). Not to mention that the conversation from this week's wedding perspective is that you simply do not have time to do all that you need to accomplish, and that from the other's perspective, you've already been called out this morning for being late and not getting it done, perhaps you should shut your yap. That is all.

Love,
Ash

Excuse Note

In lieu of a real post, you get the following excuse note:

* There was a tornado warning and we had to go to the basement for an hour.

* Justin and Eva's internet is broken.

* It was way more fun to take approximately 100 pictures of Dillon and the fam (see post below).

* My thumb hurts due to lacerations sustained during the administration of medicine to a cat (Poor Mr. Ranger).

* I was watching the episode of Scooby Doo guest starring Davey Jones.

* I'm three-quarters of the way through a book that I'm enjoying rather much.

* My back hurts from lifting the Chunk-a-Munk all weekend. (I know, Pen...lift with the legs. I simply must learn!)

* Tomorrow is Monday.

Snow: Southern Style

It doesn't snow much in these parts. If you're from a part of the country where snow is a normal occurrence, and you've been lucky enough to experience it in the south, you know that we buy milk, bread and eggs, and take cover in the shelter of our homes. We do not, under any circumstances, attempt to travel during treacherous snowfall, particularly if accumulation exceeds half an inch. That's why I was marooned at Justin and Eva's on Saturday after taking refuge there following a day in the ATL office.

Snowfall started early Saturday morning and continued through the afternoon. And it was beautiful, deafening snow, soft and powdery, falling in big papery flakes. Enjoy.

Weekend Update

Moment: Friday evening, driving home, black trees arterial against the pale peach sky, Sarah McLachlan singing "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and a beautiful sadness washed over me

Saturday: Out of bed and then back to bed. In pajamas until 3 p.m., watching A Christmas Caper starring Shannon Doherty on the ABC Family Channel.

Dosage: Up, working, chasing away the "I don't cares"

Office Christmas Party: Tasty food, warm welcomes, good conversation and another Awkward Moment with The Big Boss to add to my collection

Sunday morning: Cold dry wind whipping my hair up, my dad saying, "When it blows like that, you know you're alive."

Publix: Old home week running into parents of friends (Heather, that's you), old teachers, family friends

Lunch: Dad helped Mom make chili - the only thing he knows how to make; very charming

Nap: In the sun on the couch for two hours...ahhhhh.

Evening: Christmas music in the car on the way to meet Eva, Justin and Dillon. He was tired and sat in my lap with his head on my shoulder. That's happiness right there.

Baking: Cinnamon raisin sourdough bread...Mom's heavenly concoction. The house smells heavenly.

Carol of the Day: "Gentle Mary Laid Her Child"

Christmas spirit: Lifting?

Creativity: Low, hence another list post. More tomorrow...promise.

Thank You

* Family, for letting me live at home, for understanding the place I'm in, for trying hard to recognize that I am different than I was, for loving me even when they don't understand me, for supporting me and being there.

* Friends, for knowing when to ask how things are and when not to, for calling and emailing to check in, for reminding me that -whether here or elsewhere - they are there for me, for encouraging me to do what I need to do, for telling me I'm not crazy, for making me laugh

* Rain, which fell fast and hard this morning making puddles, which I hadn't seen in months

* Good books, which take me anywhere I want to go, and writing, in which I can take myself anywhere I want to go

* Health, both the kind The Medicine seems to be giving me and the general kind - I really do forget just how lucky I am

* Kudzu, dear sweet furry toilet-paper-strewing creature who warms my heart

* Dreams, the kind that entertain me - sometimes inform me, scare me, thrill me - while I sleep and the kind that give me hope for the future, anticipation of what Could Be.

* Today, it's all we get. All we're promised. I recently heard someone say that worry is using today's energy to carry tomorrow's burdens. I should pay heed to that advice. Say thanks today. Say I love you today. Laugh today. Eat well today - make sure you have dessert.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Fall, Festivals and Funnel Cake

This past weekend, I traveled to the western North Carolina mountains to take in a couple of festivals synonymous with the onset of autumn. Eva grew up in that part of the state, and we had the pleasure of starting the day with breakfast at her parents' house on Old Spanish Oak Mountain with this spectacular view of Grandfather Mountain from the back porch. (Grandfather is partly obscured by the clouds here, but it truly does look like the profile of an old man, as though he lay down and went to sleep among the ridges.)

We started our festival trek at Valle Crucis, an arts and crafts fair replete with mountain music (bluegrass!), homemade goodies (apple butter!) and a petting zoo (alpacas!). I couldn't get photos that did it justice, but Valle Crucis is a beautiful valley nestled among ranges of gently rolling hills. It's surrounded on all four sides, and this weekend, it was cloaked in the colors of peak fall weekend in the mountains: gilded in yellow, vibrant orange, russet and blood red. Perhaps my film camera captured it better, but I know my digital just couldn't absorb the colors.

The fair itself was charming with all its folksy art - a genre I'm pretty familiar with, as it's very popular in my hometown, but this art was from the mountains and so had a different flavor to it. A lot of interesting metal work, found object art and wood carving. Some of it wonderful and well-crafted - and some of it was a little scary. I chose an unusual biscuit jar from a Boone potter that was glazed in black and white and bore a hand carved mural and poetry on it. I wanted one of these beautiful natural wood bowls, but they are ridiculously expensive. So I took a photo instead.

We couldn't have asked for more beautiful weather - sunny and crisp with just enough chill to make you grateful for your coat and smile that autumn had chased away the oppressive summer heat. And the smell was marvelous - damp dew, grass, woodsmoke and mountain air. It was invigorating.

We drove out of Valle Crucis and through the mountains, past what Eva's dad claims is the most photographed farm in the state of North Carolina perched on a wide expanse of green between two towering peaks. I, unfortunately, was concentrating on not letting the winding mountain road get to me and did not join the legions of photographers who have captured its likeness. We made our way to Banner Elk, closer to Eva's hometown, for the Woolly Worm Festival. What, you ask, is a woolly worm? I don't believe we have them in Georgia, but they look like crawling pipe cleaners. They have 13 segments of brown and black. And at the Woolly Worm Festival, these creatures are raced (yes, raced) up a 3-foot length of string. After 1,400 worms raced, the winning worm, Armstrong, was used to predict the winter weather. His segmented body bore 4 black segments, 4 brown segments and 5 black segments - so look for a severe onset to winter followed by a mild period and then out with an arctic blast. Oh, and by the way, the whole concept of the Woolly Worm Festival was dreamed up by two guys who were high.

The Woolly Worm Festival offered all sorts of culture, from the folk music to the colorful array of people in attendance. I was lucky enough to procure a hot-out-of-the-fryer funnel cake and Mom selected some delicious apple beignets - deelish. Justin and Eva let Dillon have some funnel cake, and, well, folks, he's from the South - he liked it. But not quite as much as he liked the little maracas Eva purchased from the Cherokee Indian pan flutist.

And so we ended our day of festivals - with sunburn, indigestion and a very happy little boy.

"I Do" Review

"I Do" Good
* The weather was perfectly beautiful with bright blue skies and golden autumn light.

* Kim looked magnificent. I've never seen her quite so radiant - and when we first got her dress on, and I took it all in, I couldn't help but cry to see her looking that regal.

* I did not lose Kim's engagement ring while wearing it for the duration of the ceremony, nor drop Ben's wedding band into the nearby lake on accident.

* The dinner music included selections from William Shatner, Ethel Merman and The Beatles - only Kim Shable (Oja!).

* Kim's mom put us all to shame on the dance floor during "Gold Digger." And that, my friends, is to be applauded.

* Kim handled snafus - like the accidental dumping of a cup of a coffee on her veil at the salon - with unbelievable aplomb.

* Managed to arrange an all Wilmywood photo - sans Penelope, HAT, and Daren. We missed you!

* I had the best up-do ever - Samantha, you rock.

"I Do" Not-So-Good
* I discovered at the rehearsal dinner that my best friend is also left-handed. How in the name of heaven did I miss this fact all these years? I am admittedly obsessed with other left handers, and I didn't know Kim is one? I cannot believe this. I demand a recount.

* After the rehearsal dinner, we all went back to the Shables for a campfire. I, after my 4 a.m. wake up call, fell asleep by the fire in a lawn chair. Like a bum.

* I was attacked by a bee during the ceremony. No, really. It approached, and I tried gently to wave it away. But it pursued me relentlessly until I was flailing arms and doing a little hop from foot to foot to get away from it. I imagine, for the crowd, it was mildly entertaining.

* I did not have time for even one "nerve-softening" drink before offering my toast - behind a very poignant and touching tribute from the best man. Out-toasted, I was.

* The woman in charge at the event site scared the bejeezes out of all of us - both with her demeanor and her aggressive blush.

* I was forced to do the Chicken Dance against my better judgment and the preservation of my dignity. Many, many thanks to Jenn, who was friend enough to not allow me to suffer alone.

"I Do" Tears
* First moment in wedding dress

* Exchange of vows

* First dance

* Goodbye

That's Impressive

Bug: head full of hair, running, stair-climbing, desperately cute pronunciation of the word "Elmo"

Pene-lo: patience with teething Bug, heartburn from N. Lo., heatwave, licking dog, house guest

Storm: great streams of forked lightning criss-crossing the sky, buckets of water pouring down

Becoming Jane: James McAvoy in breeches and Hessians

Becoming Jane Ashley: copious tears (and snot, I am sorry to report)

Bowling alley: hotter than the 7th circle of hell, no A/C

Bowling prowess: unbelievable skill followed by spectacular decline

Bowling alley food: angry resurgence of acid indigestion

South Carolina temperature: 106 degrees, heat index unknown

John Mayer: 12 hours on repeat - Continuum, Heavier Things, Room for Squares, Inside Wants Out

Mel: tan from Dominican Republic, free movie passes, insanely ambitious teaching schedule

Office: reconfigured

Boss: surprised by sudden reappearance of Ashley

Sweet & Savory: Cinnamon raisin French toast (J. Lo.'s generosity in picking up my tab)

Military Cutoff: construction nightmare

Old friends: still wonderful

Drought

Since I've been here, we haven't had a rainy day. Most of the state is suffering from extreme drought conditions. Still, humid afternoons that parch the grass, burning it away bit by bit to strew lawns with dirt patches (despite some people's attempts to surreptitiously water it against the enforced watering bans). The heat shimmers up from the pavement in such waves that it gives the illusion of water trickling down. The water is receding from the muddy banks of the river, the topmost levels now drying and cracking.

Without storm clouds rolling in along the line of a weather front, the sky seems eerily unchanging. A cruel almost metallic blue stretching from horizon to horizon with barely a wisp of white, reflecting sunlight with unbearable clarity. The air doesn't move but settles around you wherever you linger too long like a cloak. The ground is hot and arid, and everywhere you look, you can see the red clay Georgia is famous for pushing through the green or rising up in rusty clouds.

Tomorrow's the first day of summer, and with it will come heat so oppressive, it will steal your breath the moment you walk out the door. It's the kind of weather that brings on lethargy, a sting of heat so intense that it stifles energy. It presses you down, keeps you in. Smothers the euphoria that comes from ozone-rich air, dewy grass, cool darkness. It's the kind of weather made for waiting. It's weather for the unmoving and unchanging. For a time in life that seems to be standing still and timeless. For stretching out under the unforgiving sun in its blazing blue sky, feeling it burn red against your eyelids, feeling its heat fill your lungs, feeling it set fire to every pore on your body and wondering if it will ever rain.

Leaving: Part Four - Going Back

The Return Trip: Observations & Experiences

* It is an entirely different trip when driving east first and west second. Either way, it is still a long, long drive.

* Coldstone Creamery's cake batter ice cream is sinfully good.

* Downtown Wilmywood is still there - I saw it, walked its streets, smelled its river.

* There is nothing like the dark theater, Coke Icees, and a good friend on either side to pass a rainy Saturday.

* I do not wish to see the movie Joshua, as the preview nearly made me cry with fear.

* Waitress is so wonderful and funny and heartbreaking that I can't stop thinking about it.

* I did not look at my office, as I know it is no longer mine. I did help myself to a complimentary Diet Coke and Skittles from the conference room table.

* The emergence of K. Lo.'s personality is extraordinarily entertaining, between the use of the Red Robin crayon box as a cell phone and her constant parade of dance moves. Bonus moment was hearing her say "yum" when fed potato soup.

* STGD's porch is a good thing with its ferns and flower boxes and the creak of the porch swing and a beer in hand and Lenny looking for lizards and the breeze and the rain. And us laughing. Always laughing.

* Weirdly, it has not rained here or there since I left. Last night, it poured both places.

* Uninterrupted girl time to discuss hair (cuts, color, and styling tips), fashion, boys, and life in general is very important to the soul.

* Mel's cat Oliver has something urgent to say. I only wish I knew what it was.

* It is a bittersweet reminder how good it is to have friends to share a meal, a movie, a magazine, a moment.

* My Southern accent is baaaack.

* Grace Street is occupied now but mine in my heart.

* Still some ghosts lurking in Wilmywood.

* Thanks to Mel, Penelope, STGD, and The Boss for kind and insightful life advice. (And to Mel for letting me crash...)

* Nothing could stop the tears as the riverfront disappeared in the sideview mirror crossing the bridge out of town.

Emotional Forecast

Overcast and cloudy...Chance of precipitation 100%...General area is on a flood watch...Officials recommend securing an emergency supply of Puffs...Sixteen minutes from a serious emotional front marked by rising pressure (i.e. departing from the office)...Expect turbulent weather with a brief calm (party time)...Severe showers again late tonight and most of tomorrow...Due to the weather, the blog will be unplugged for the next 48-hours...Take cover...

Sprung

Spring has sprung as evidenced by this little gathering of daffodils photographed through the fence that separates my drive from Neighbor Man's yard. And a little daffodil hanging out in my own yard just in front of the first azaleas. The day, happy to have an extra hour, held all the promise of the spring to come.

Chasing Away the Winter Doldrums In Style

I read Meg's blog this week about how February has her down. I agree...it's the shortest month of the year, and yet, somehow the longest. It's the end of winter, and the anticipation of spring is almost tangible. Even the days at work lately have been unbearable...but maybe that isn't so much the weather. Anyhoo. I decided to fight the blahs with a little fake online shopping. Behold the $651 Manolo Blahnik open-toed Orsay sandals. Deelish.

In Good Company

A violent storm arrived in the wee hours this morning, buffeting the windows and shaking the house until the bed rattled. But in its wake dawned a perfectly sunny day in the mid-seventies completely out of character for early January. Despite the desperate need for me to tend to my long-neglected apartment, I opted for a quick run to Dunkin Donuts for coffee and a healthy breakfast of chocolate frosted and jelly donuts. I took my morning fare out onto the porch for some reading and dozing in the rocker, amused that I could be wearing flip flops and a tank top in the winter.

Kudzu and this little green fellow joined me for a time. Kudzu was very earnestly watching a mocking bird in the tree at the opposite end of the porch. And the lizard seemed to be seeking a nice place on the stucco to sun himself. Photos courtesy of my new digital camera - which will be used especially to provide more delightful photos to the blog.

Today was one of those days where - with the exception of a couple of phone calls and the drive thru at Dunkin Donuts - I was in complete solitude. Alone in my little world on the porch, with my book. And for the day, it was nice to not have to hear my own voice so much and live instead with the sound of silence.

This is a Little More Like It

Dear God,
Since it's Sunday, and I complained so heartily the other day (see below), I thought I should say thanks for the weather. Which seems a crazy thing to do as it is utterly grey and dreary outside. But I'm inside wearing my very favorite around-the-house sweater and my fuzzy blue socks and Kudzu is piled up in the blankets in the bedroom, and it generally feels quite cozy. I'm hoping this turn in the weather will inspire me to think of magnificent Christmas gifts for my family. Now, about that peace on earth...

Love,
Ashley

Miss December

Dear God,
You may notice that I have chosen a profile picture for the month of December featuring an iceskater, a frozen lake, snow-covered evergreens. As you know - because you know everything - this sort of scene is common for this time of year. And I know - because I've lived here all my life - that we don't get that kind of weather in the south. However, that does not mean that we should be melting.

Don't get me wrong. The weather the last couple of days has been lovely. It's just not seasonally-appropriate, if you know what I mean. I should not be considering open-toed shoes and a tank top and my Christmas wish list all at the same time. So if you could send some chills, cold winds, you know, generally cool it down enough that the thought of roasting by an open fire is appealing. I'd just like to crave some hot chocolate and a warm blanket. I won't go so far as to ask for snow, because that would be greedy. A little nip in the air is all I'm asking for. And peace on earth. Thanks ever so much.

Love,
Ashley

Mary Poppins Beware

It's a blustery, blustery day. And it's take no prisoners. There will be casualties. Goodbye, dear black Tote umbrella. You served me well until your death outside The UPS Store. May there be sunny skies for you in the beyond.

Magnetic Poetry Kit: Travel Edition

Until I have enough wits about me to write a real post, enjoy some tidbits from my trip...feel free to move them around on the fridge and make poems out of them. Missed y'all.

jet lag * brisk * sitting * macadamia nut bananas foster waffles * camera * motion sickness * nametag * beverage service * snowing * static electricity * hoofing it * Mormons * breathtaking * architecture * pioneers * alarm clock * keynote speaker * calling * jargon * navajo pottery * a/v equipment * red carpet * plaid lampshade * glacier mints * writing * greek omelette * bathroom phone * clean * reading * solitude * cabin pressure * rudy * revolving door * olympics * remini coffee

November

November is my least favorite month of the year, save that it brings Thanksgiving. Somehow it seems to be more of the end of the year than December, perhaps because December is so filled with holiday celebration that it distracts from the ending of another year. November always seems bleak...and tearing off the page on the calendar today that brought me to November 1 made me shudder. And so, a poem for today.

Every year, November

rain comes in thin
metal sheets tearing
last leaves from trees
pins them to sidewalks
mapping a path to winter

grey comes to shade
clouds like slim boats
hung on steeples
needling the skies
to hold autumn in place

night comes quickly
after noon to hurry day
away, slow blooming frost
covers the ground, windows
with the dying breath of gods

Autumn: The Album

For me, the arrival of Halloween and the passing of daylight savings mark that point in time when fall is no longer this nebulous oncoming season but a fully emerged time of year. And some songs simply seem to capture this time of year better than others. In light of fall's full-fledged arrival and because I'll be spending an indecent amount of time in the car this weekend, I put together a little fall collection. I may catch some criticism for some of these choices, but for whatever reason, these were the songs that said fall to me this October:

1. Sparks (Coldplay)
2. Angel (Matt Nathanson)
3. Foolish Games (Jewel)
4. Everybody Hurts (R.E.M.)
5. Wait (Sarah McLachlan)
6. Just Another (Pete Yorn)
7. Falling in Love (Lisa Loeb)
8. All My Friends (Counting Crows)
9. Quite Often (Trent Dabbs)
10. Pictures of You (The Cure)
11. As I'm Leaving (David Gray)
12. New York State of Mind (Billy Joel)
13. Stop This Train (John Mayer)
14. Girl (Tori Amos)
15. The Awakening (Jennifer Nettles Band)
16. Cathedrals (Jump, Little Children)