The -ings of the Last Week

* Getting my hair cut - my favorite thing - which involved talking to my stylist about the line dancing craze of the early 90s

* Attending the farewell show of The Rockstar's band at the 40 Watt. He's moving to Barcelona to pursue his music. And I am sad.

* Putting together a photo book of San Francisco on Shutterfly. It's so awesome, I can't stop looking at it.

* Meeting up with my dear Jenny Ray and her husband Nick for drinks on Friday night. She got to see the aforementioned red shoes, and we caught up on all sorts of things - like hugs!

* Winning my first account for the firm on Thursday. Hooray!

* Enjoying lunches with my parents while Dad spent the rest of the week at home recovering.

* Missing Dillon. I didn't get to see him Father's Day weekend in all the hospital madness.

* Catching up on blogs.

* Sorting through old photos - Jenn, I found some oldies, but goodies. Like your college graduation party?

* Taking many, many photographs to complete the photo game. 20 photos down and six to go.

* Shopping too much - I am enacting a moratorium on new clothing purchases.

* Thinking. A lot. About life and love and the pursuit of happiness.

* Gaining perspective on the here and now.

Tuesday's Littany

* My toenails are currently painted white. I'm trying it out. For Mom. Who bought the nail polish for herself but wanted to see if it looked too hip for her. I love that woman.

* Suspect that STGD may no longer be reading my blog for lack of posts containing reference to him. BUT, here he is, and as always, my heart beats for no one else. PLUS, will see him in a month which will surely spur posting.

* Which brings me to the fact that I will likely be wearing a swimsuit with former coworkers. Is that weird?

* Contacted on Friday by a Slightly Creepy Single (i.e. not the Creepy Single). Attempted GREAT diplomacy in saying that I'm not interested.

* Currently considering solitary travel - I know, I know. My mother will have a stroke. But surely I can handle three days in New England by myself?

* Had I remembered that Women's Murder Club is set in San Fran, I would've tried harder to set up a meeting with the girls.

* I love this post that I wrote about Kudzu at the Smartini Bar.

* Never EVER try to upload 385 photos to Shutterfly at one time.

* Currently on download list - Toad the Wet Sprocket, Better than Ezra, Soul Asylum. Yes, I'm totally having a "recover your 8th grade year" moment.

If You're Going to San Francisco...

* Be ready to pay with cash (SF is a town without credit)

* Wear comfortable shoes

* Read the map scale carefully ("a few blocks that way" can be deceiving)

* Beware of THE FOG

* Good luck finding Hayes Valley

* Know that "hills" is an understatement (particularly the Russian ones)

* Do not eat at Lori's Diner (to be regretted the next morning by all parties)

* Wear your elastic pants to Ghirardelli Square

* Pack an extra memory card for the 385 photos you will take

* Get scared by The Bushman

* Check out the Get Offs at the Hemlock Tavern (only if you have industrial strength ear plugs)

* Try not to get killed by the rabid cyclists

* Skip Shakespeare's Gardn [sic] at Golden Gate Park. Jenn's description is far more satisfying than the actual garden.

* Contemplate that the Japanese Tea Garden is worth seeing but maybe not $4 worth seeing and how you would've been much less disappointed if you'd only had to pay $2.

* Avoid the cable car with the scary herky-jerky driver

* See the sea lions

* Prepare yourself for smells ranging from garbage to urine to beer to homeless people to dirty bay water to unidentifiable odors that you'd rather not even contemplate what they actually are.

* Buy art from Eduardo Gustav on Fisherman's Wharf

* Meet up with old friends

* Spend too much money

* Flirt with the European boys on the pier

* Get chills in isolation #13 at Alcatraz

* Giggle on the giggle hallway in the Powell Hotel

* Be prepared to be very, very, very sad when you have to leave

The End

Pack up stuff - check under the beds for lost shoes and misplaced books * Retrace steps...back to the BART, back to the airport * Take Dramamine again * Listen to music as appropriate (Counting Crows as a tribute to Berkeley/SF? David Gray for wistfulness?) * Worry over whether to sleep or stay awake to combat jet lag * Experience total place and time confusion over leaving at noon and arriving at nearly nine o'clock * Collect baggage * Find Mom * Head home

Last Day

First thing, tour Alcatraz, knowing full well it's the touristy thing to do but dying to do it anyway * Break out telephoto lens for good bridge shots on the way to the island * Consider hocking up $20 for the bay tour to boot - Eva and Justin said it's worth it. * Must do something happy following Alcatraz - Jenn's caveat for going * Consult list - what do we need to check off? * Ride the cable cars one more time * Take a bazillion more photos * Make Niki and Jenn pose in front of SF landmarks and smile for the 20th time * Fall in love with the city * Decide I don't want to leave * Have something spectacular for dessert

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Happy Birthday to Jenn! Happy Birthday to Jenn! * Planning brunch with unlimited mimosas * Trip to Golden Gate Park * Possibly tour the deYoung Museum * See HAT! - first time in four years * Consult advice from Lauren, Daisy, and Mendacious on where to go and what to do - and most importantly, where to shop * Let Jenn choose dinner - something delicious and vegetarian, possibly something ethnic * Make it to Chinatown, Mission, Haight * See the painted ladies * Run into Adam Duritz?

The Beginning

Getting on the plane at 9:45 a.m. * Must take Dramamine * Please don't seat me next to a "talker" * Plan on Nick Drake and a semi-conscious state * Eva says I'll need a snack * Landing on the west coast at 12:45 * Taking the BART to the hotel - it's a snap, I'm sure * Overwhelmed with what I want to see first - everything * Must find See's Candies immediately upon arrival * Take a million pictures * Ask the locals where to go dancing - must shake junk in the trunk * Will wear new dress and new top despite any less-than-seasonable weather * See the Golden Gate * Hope it feels Golden

Leaving on a Jet Plane

At long last - or not so long? - I'm headed to San Francisco tomorrow! I am so excited about this trip for a number of reasons:

1) This is one of the first times I'm traveling for fun.
2) I'm going to see two of my dearest friends for more than 30 minutes and not under the circumstances of a funeral.
3) I have never been to San Francisco
4) The success of this trip may give me the little push I need to get my ever-loving passport (for Mendacious, obviously).

I will not be taking the computer. I've decided to go cold turkey on the Internets for the duration of our trip. However, do not despair! For behold, I give you photos of the darling child and the promise of posts magically appearing in my absence. See y'all Tuesday!

Dear Universe:

I don't know if you've noticed, but so far, my 2008 hasn't been that stellar. So one could understand why I am so very excited to be traveling to San Francisco this weekend with two very dear and wonderful friends. And one could also conceive why I am not amused about what just happened to me while talking on the phone to Kim Shable. I would be referring to the sudden appearance of gigantic itchy red welts on my chin and cheek. The ones that - upon closer examination - ran across my forehead and up to my hairline and then trailed down my neck to my chest and back.

I have taken a shower. Scrubbed twice. Downed two antihistamines and slathered myself in a Benadryl cream. And you know what? Now my lip is swelling.

I'm sure that if I dug down deep, I could find some dark humor in this. Some irony. Some glib line about Murphy's Law. But let me tell you something, Universe. I am tired. I am not interested in digging deep and ferreting out a comfortless cliche. I am going to San Francisco. And I will not stand for looking like a freak. And if I have to walk around with a giant epi pin sticking out of my leg, so be it. But, really, it would be easier if you would simply concede and return my face and body back to normal, reduce the size of my lower lip and not approach constricting my airways.

Thank you so much. You're charming. Really.

xoxo,
Spotty Ash

West Coast, Y'all

I am going on vacation. Ten days and counting. I cannot remember the last time I went on a vacation - possibly the family Disney trip of '05 that was a valuable learning experience (i.e. the Disney Magical Express is neither magical nor express, discuss amongst yourselves).

But this time around, Niki, Jenn and I are heading to San Francisco from three different cities for a long girls' weekend. We already have a couple of things on our to do list, but for those of you San Fran experts (or natives!), please weigh in on those things we absolutely must see, do, eat or experience. We enjoy all thing edible, libations, art, dancing, green things, and abandoned prison fortresses. Please cast your vote now.

Resolutions in the Pot Nine Days Old

I recognize that we've already bypassed the first week of January without me posting any New Year's resolutions. Last year, I had a clear resolution - a resolution that was important enough to me to keep. And I did - at least, I committed to my very best effort to find the place to be happy. Not physically...not in the sense of moving or staying, of where I am...but more a state of being. And now that I'm there, I'm resolving to stay there. So this is less about resolutions and more of a to do list for staying the course I chose last year.

* Get my passport

* Travel more - am already tackling this by planning trip to SF with Nik and Jenn and Cleveland Rocks with Kim

* Practice my photography (on subjects including and other than Dillon)

* Stop being afraid of new people

* When I say, "Someday, I'd like to..." really think about when someday might be and how to get there

* Buy (yipe!) a house

* Be kind to other people

* Have perspective - about blessings, about all the things that could happen that don't, about all the places I'm not, about all the places I am

* Learn

* Get to work on time more often; leave work on time more often

* Snuggle Kudzu every day

* Blog it out

Fauxsure

I found this website called So There the other night while surfing. Here, letters are posted from people addressed to former boyfriends and girlfriends, secret crushes, and partners in adulterous affairs. It's along the lines of Post Secret, but with longer, more in-depth letters. I found this one that made me rather sad:

Dear Virginia Ray:
You have been my neighbor in San Francisco, since 1969. We have belonged to the same neighborhood association for the past 20 years. I have always looked forward to seeing your lively self, at our monthly meetings, in the Sunset Heights area.

You are three years shy of being 90, and, sadly, you have to go now, as the cancer has started getting really nasty. Still, at the hospital, you smile for the doctor, as you ask for a "morphine on the rocks, straight-up, ...to take the edge off:". You wouldn't whine, if your life depended on it..

I sure am gonna miss you, and I want to get down on paper, before "your next big adventure", a mini-version of your Life Story. I will look around, first, for how to do this, and what to ask...

See you later, today, and in "the Great Bye, and Bye".

Happy Trails.

Others are angry, maudlin letters full of "Why do I still love you?" and "Do you still think of me?" The webmasters of the site offer the space to give closure to people.

And I wondered, who would I send my "so there" letter to? I could think of a few situations on which I'd still like to throw out my unedited thoughts. But is it really closure? Is the just saying it enough? Or does it have to be heard - the old tree falling in the forest question.

Interestingly enough, this site, unlike Post Secret, isn't anonymous. People sign the letters and the signature is hotlinked to an email address. So in the end, it's not so much closure as fauxsure, a pretend way to say you're writing off your hurt or guilt or sadness signed with the hope that the addressee will respond.

I couldn't think of a letter that I would want to post to the whole world (that's what journals are for), but in the spirit of the site, I thought I would say, in brief: You know who you are. So there.