As those of us long in blogdom know, The Kurt possesses one quality in measure beyond any of the rest of us: mysteriousness. Though some have tried to unravel the innate mysteriousness of The Kurt, the man (men? pods?) remains shrouded in uncertainties, suppositions and theories. If he were still alive, Robert Stack would totally be standing in a misty alley somewhere talking about the supernatural phenomenon of The Kurt. Unfortunately for us all, it is unlikely that Robert Stack and a host of anonymous tipsters could pinpoint the whereabouts, vocation, truth of The Kurt. He's got one foot ahead of Bigfoot in that regard.
But, I am not here to appeal to The Kurt to reveal himself (herself? itself?) to me. Rather, I am here to beseech The Kurt to impart the wisdom of his ways. Because that quality which The Kurt possesses ad infinitum...well, I have ad zeronium. Help me, The Kurt. You're my only hope.
I am dating again, wandering around with the other singletons and trying to match up well. The problem is, I say too much. There's very little air of mystery around me after, oh, say thirty minutes. As you dear readers know, I'm quite proning to airing every last stitch of dirty laundry without a second thought. And I'm thinking that the male varietal might be more captivated by an air of mystery than the airing of my every thought. I try to hold my tongue. I try to consider how one would be mysterious, but it simply isn't an affectation I've mastered.
So, The Kurt, please consider a brief tutorial on mysteriousness. I'm quite sure you could get Time Life to publish it as an addendum to its Mysteries of the Unexplained series. Your guidance could be my ticket out of singledom. Please teach me how to hoodwink the boys into thinking I'm spectacularly mysterious - before I reveal my every waking-sleeping-eating-dreaming-breathing thought.
Thank you for your consideration.
Monday, September 15, 2008
An Appeal to The Kurt
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5 cat calls:
The Kurt is here. All will be well.
My first reaction is to say be yourself. Babble on if that's who you are. The goal of life is to discover and express who you really are.
That said, assuming you agree that 50% of any date should consist of the other person talking, you might reduce your total volume of babbling by asking questions of your date. People love to talk about themselves, and sometimes they're even interesting.
I also recommend speaking more slowly. I do this in situations where I'm prone to saying something stupid. This reduces the volume of babble and gives you more time to consider what you're saying, i.e. less foot in mouth.
More ideas as they come to me.
Totally the right man will love you "just as you are." Stealing from Molly and Bridget, but it's true.
Amen, Pen!
Oooh, I hope this will be an extended Kurt-orial with multiple lessons. I'm going to try to apply what I've already learned on my next outing.
You shouldn't worry so much about your openness--I think it's one of your best qualities. Besides, if someone has any chance of being the right person for you, he is best knowing about your openness up front. The real you will be far more appealing than another version of you that is hidden behind some contrived mysteriousness.
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