An Appeal to The Kurt

As those of us long in blogdom know, The Kurt possesses one quality in measure beyond any of the rest of us: mysteriousness. Though some have tried to unravel the innate mysteriousness of The Kurt, the man (men? pods?) remains shrouded in uncertainties, suppositions and theories. If he were still alive, Robert Stack would totally be standing in a misty alley somewhere talking about the supernatural phenomenon of The Kurt. Unfortunately for us all, it is unlikely that Robert Stack and a host of anonymous tipsters could pinpoint the whereabouts, vocation, truth of The Kurt. He's got one foot ahead of Bigfoot in that regard.

But, I am not here to appeal to The Kurt to reveal himself (herself? itself?) to me. Rather, I am here to beseech The Kurt to impart the wisdom of his ways. Because that quality which The Kurt possesses ad infinitum...well, I have ad zeronium. Help me, The Kurt. You're my only hope.

I am dating again, wandering around with the other singletons and trying to match up well. The problem is, I say too much. There's very little air of mystery around me after, oh, say thirty minutes. As you dear readers know, I'm quite proning to airing every last stitch of dirty laundry without a second thought. And I'm thinking that the male varietal might be more captivated by an air of mystery than the airing of my every thought. I try to hold my tongue. I try to consider how one would be mysterious, but it simply isn't an affectation I've mastered.

So, The Kurt, please consider a brief tutorial on mysteriousness. I'm quite sure you could get Time Life to publish it as an addendum to its Mysteries of the Unexplained series. Your guidance could be my ticket out of singledom. Please teach me how to hoodwink the boys into thinking I'm spectacularly mysterious - before I reveal my every waking-sleeping-eating-dreaming-breathing thought.

Thank you for your consideration.

Unsolved Mysteries

Yesterday morning I read this article in the Wall Street Journal about the "7 Missing Wonders." It outlines seven missing treasures - some from the ancient world like Nefertiti's tomb and some from history as recent as World War II with the disappearance of The Amber Room. It could be my recent ruminations on Choose Your Own Adventure books that piqued my fascination or it could be the fantastic interactive treasure map that accompanies the story.

For the rest of the day, I thought about those missing artifacts, possibly somewhere in the world, possibly hidden by someone and shuttled from place to place to keep it so. Or resting quietly fathoms below the oceans, moldering on the ocean floor. Or simply nonexistent figments of a fictioneer's imagination. In some cases, the answer would probably be disappointing; in others, the answer could be even more sensational than we think. Whatever the case, I found it sort of thrilling that there is still real mystery in the world - delicious, treasure-hunting mystery that seems the stuff of good novels but is out there, a question mark followed by an ellipsis, keeping us all hanging wonderfully unsatisfied.