U-nope-ia

This is not a post about a revolutionary idea. This is a post about a revelationary moment.

Everywhere you turn, no matter what stage of life you are in, there is the pressure to be perfect in it.

Okay. So you're thinking, yeah, so?

So I was watching TV the other day and a Target commercial came on - the one that has the Beatles' "Hello Goodbye" in it. It's one of those stark red and white commercials they've rolled out, commercials I've admired for their simplicity, ingenuity and strong branding. But on this day, I took off my marketing hat and put on my consumer hat and really looked at that which I consumed.

And I realized that the 30 seconds were jam-packed with anesthetized utopian presentations of various stages of life. Love and marriage, birth and family. Everyone smiling. Everyone neat and clean and antiseptic. And in that moment, I found it almost scary.

Now I see it everywhere I turn - this utopia, this smiling, khaki-and-white clad, gadding-about-town family. The attractive husband and the lovely wife. The well-dressed children. The picture-perfect family gathering.

I've been in the industry for over seven years, and I know how it works. It's all about presenting the iconic image of what we want. It's all about defining an absence and proposing a solution. And for a sparkling clean floor, that's okay. But for life, well, it's just...sad. It's just sad to be surrounded by images and messages about all that we lack. Not just the things we lack - but the people and circumstances we lack. And not only do we lack them, they don't even exist.

Life isn't perfect when you're in love; I can only assume that holds true even after you marry. Children are a blessing - and a burden. Families are wonderful and maddening. And for every happy gathering, every family member you love and treasure, there's got to be at least one who's totally dysfunctional and certifiably crazy.

There are perfect moments in life, for sure. There are moments when it all comes together. When you breathe it in. When you are alive. But they are fragile, spun-glass moments, just filaments barely holding together. And this place, this magical utopian place where the table is fashionably set for 18 of your closest friends and relatives in their designer best and their Crest white smiles? I'll check my Garmin, but I don't think it's out there.

But we look for it. By God, we wear ourselves out searching for it. We castigate ourselves for all the things we're not, and we worry over what we don't have. We worry about the places we're not and the people we're not. We strive and strive for something else...to say hello to the perfect and goodbye to the imperfect...and really, we're just stuck with something in between.

So the point is...the point is I'm going to try to stop buying in to all this. I'm going to try to shut out the messages - the ones I sometimes help create - and just figure out me and whether or not that's a good thing or a bad thing based on an entirely different set of standards.

Second Friday

* Smelled: Honeysuckle, gardenia

* Walked: 3 miles

* Trimmed: Mom's lantana in the backyard

* Purchased: Mother's Day card

* Carried: New Target purse

* Listened: iPod...Tori Amos, DMB, Justin Timberlake, Craig David

* Watched: Pride & Prejudice

* Photographed: Kudzu, kitchen counter, resting on the dish towel

* Called: Former high school English teacher

* Scheduled: Coffee date with former high school English teacher, lunch with Jenn

* Contemplated: Nothing

* Appreciated: Thunderstorm

Giraff-ic

Happy giraffe t-shirt purchased at Target. I love Target.

On the Placement of Ohio

I'm wondering who I might petition about the placement of the state of Ohio. I know some Ohioans enjoy the proximity to Canada, but, if it were closer to, say, North Carolina, there would be the allure of the beach and the mountains. Everybody loves the beach and the mountains. And, as evidenced by the past weekend, some very important things are being prevented by the distance between these two states. For example:

* There is less modge-podging going on. And frankly, the world needs more thinly spread glue over pictures of Mr. Big and Dwight Schrute cut out of magazines.

* Improptu live concerts of "Me & Bobby McGee" and "Rockin' the Suburbs" are at an all time low.

* Krispy Kreme consumption is limited to late night, end-of-trip runs.

* The discovery of the wine cubes available at Target might have been prolonged even further.

* Less money is put into the North Carolina economy during shopping trips that involve buying accessories and clothes "just because" and I might never have purchased that great green tunic shirt.

* Not as many people know the joy of Old Time Pottery - where you can purchase a small bamboo rug, four drinking glasses, a hamburger flipper, two 6 x 8 pieces of art and a kitchen timer shaped like a chicken all for the bargain price of $18.75.

* Opportunities for great films such as "Justin Recounts a Bar Fight" and "Tom & Dave Talk Anchorman" go unrealized every day.

In conclusion, if I had a million dollars, I'd move Ohio.