Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Knockers are Coming

Apparently it started when Dillon decided to potty train himself. One day, he simply refused to wet his diaper, and since then, he's been heading to the bathroom like a big boy. And one day, he knocked on the wall while doing his business and said to Eva, "The Knockers are coming, Mommy." And where are The Knockers coming from? "Right there," he said and knocked on the wall again and then pointed to a different spot on the wall for her to knock. "Right there."

The Knockers continued to make regular appearances at potty time for awhile. Then one night after he had gone to bed, Justin heard noises coming from Dillon's room. He opened the door to find him standing in his bed, knocking on the wall and pronouncing that The Knockers were coming.

Eva and Justin finally confessed to each other that The Knockers were giving them the heebie-jeebies. But Dillon seemed unafraid of The Knockers - excited even by their arrival. Eva asked the pediatrician if he was overly stressed; the doc told her that Dillon's just highly imaginative.

I had not seen - and hoped to never see - the strange phenomenon of The Knockers. Children plus the supernatural equal a very freaked out Ashley. But last weekend, I was introduced to The Knockers.

Dillon stood at the front door looking out into the yard through the storm door. And then he began to knock. "The Knockers are coming," he said. "Right here. Right here." He knocked again.

"Who are The Knockers, Dillon?" I asked.

He looked at me with his guileless eyes and said, "They're coming."

"Coming to what?"

He took the index finger of one hand and started to draw circles on the glass. "They go 'round and 'round and 'round." It was almost like he was mesmerized. And then his connection to The Knockers was broken and he turned back to play.

Thoroughly chilled, hair standing on end, I asked, "Dillon, what do The Knockers look like?"

"They're big shapes," he said, holding his little arms akimbo.

Now...I fully imagine that The Knockers who are big shapes and go round and round look like this:
But in all fairness, The Knockers, who are big shapes, and go round and round could look like this:
In all fairness, Dillon isn't afraid of The Knockers. I mean, the rest of us are utterly creeped out and live in fear that The Knockers are coming. But they seem to make him happy or at the very least be on friendly terms with him. All the same, I welcome any suggestions - garlic or crosses or a lucky rabbit foot - to keep The Knockers from coming to see me.

12 cat calls:

penelope said...

Either option freaks me out, frankly.

Will I be the only one to say that the word "knockers" called to mind boobs? :)

As far as the overnight, self-initiated potty training, I simply have no words. ONE YEAR, Ash, one year.

One.
Year.
And the K.Lo is finally trained.
Sigh. I thought children like Mr. Dillon were confined to fairy tales.

Tay's Mom said...

yeah. i totally thought you were talking about the coming of spring -- the arrival of tank tops. and that, with the upcoming tanks, your knockers would be coming out soon. right. anyway, the knockers in this case are truly creepy. i'm more curious as to who they are than concerned about how to keep them away -- but that's only because i'm not near the dilly and threatened of their presence. tell him to draw the knockers one day. for me. i wanna see these guys.

Kurt said...

Reminds me of a horror movie. The kids always know before the adults when the knockers are coming.

Jennifer Walter said...

My nephew Carter had "kids". Their names were Lindy and Parvey. The way he talked about them, at first, I thought they were good friends he had at school. Then one day when we were on vacation. He told me that "Shhh...Lindy and Parvey are sleeping." "Where?" I said. "In that bed," he said pointing to my bed. It turns out that Lindy and Parvey were Carter's imaginary children...a twist on imaginary friends I guess. He was very adamant that they were his children...not friends. Admittedly not as mysterious as the "Knockers", but it's probably still age appropriate.

Ruby said...

I too thought you were talking about boobs. But that wouldn't surprise anyone.

The Knockers creep me out. A LOT. I believe my main question would be 'TO DO WHAT?' Therein lies the key.

(My word verification in birdi, so maybe the knockers are just birds?)

Niki said...

I second Tay's Mom - we need pictorial evidence of these creepy-ass Knockers. And why does he call them the "Knockers?" Is Eva and Justin's house old? Do we need to do some research?

And yeah, totally thought of boobs. :)

Anonymous said...

This post made me laugh and laugh.

Children Dillon's age are working their hardest to make sense of the world. I had an imaginary friend named Rebecca when I was Dillon's age. (I even insisted we buy her a Christmas present.) I think now that it was because my sister's name was Rebecca, but my parents always called her Becky. I was trying to make sense of who this Rebecca who was occasionally mentioned was, so I created her in my own mind. (My parents also used to talk about how Uncle Sam was taking all their money at tax time, and I used to wonder why their friend Sam would do that to them.)

People knock on the door before they arrive. When you think about it, that would be a weird phenomenon to someone who's just reaching an age to pay attention to why such a thing would happen. So it seems to me "The knockers are coming" may have started with that simple concept and then expanded in his mind.

Isn't his mom pregnant? Aren't they talking about the arrival of someone who's coming soon? That could play into it as well.

jenn said...

Okay, this is way creepy to me. While I'm sure that it is just a sign of his wonderful imagination, I will now likely have bad dreams about the knockers coming to get me.

mendacious said...

um holyfuckingWHAT.

shizet! man!

(oh and am i going to see you or not!)

damn, kids are creepy!

laura said...

oooo. that's creepy! bethany had a friend, Alice, and then Alice's whole family showed up.then she named a "chucky-like" baby doll Alice... Sarah Jane has a friend in the mirror (suprisingly, it looks just like her!) but the knockers... the only knockers around here are mine. and they are saggy. and i agree, i want to see a picture of these knockers. dillon's, not yours...- perhaps it's just dillon's way of dealing with the coming new baby (and mama's developing..ahem.-sorry eva!)

Kate said...

Sounds like your nephew might be related to the contaminated water girl from Signs. And your version of what the Knockers could look like reminds me of dementors from Harry Potter. Yikes! I'm creeped out too.

tempe & chris said...

True story: Right after I graduated from high school, my uncle died suddenly of an aneurysm. His grandson - who was between 2 and 3 years old at the time, insisted that his "pop" (my uncle) came to see him for the next three nights after his death. He recalled very specific conversations. There was another guy that would "visit" him with his "Pop" - and by the 2.5 year old's very elaborate descriptions of him, it became clear to us that the other guy that he saw was uncle's cousin, who died five years prior.

Kids have a sixth sense. And it creeps me out, too...

(On a lighter note, I thought you were talking about boobs as well.)