The Crap in the Hall

The Barrister lives in an apartment that's tucked on an avenue right off downtown in one of the A-Town's hippest neighborhoods. Entering the breezeway, you pass four apartments on the way to the stairs that lead to his apartment (cleverly marked "Bee"). Over the months that I've been darkening The Barrister's door, a strange collection of objects has appeared in said breezeway.

* An empty pizza box from Fox's Pizza Den
* Two bicycles, one often chained to the stairs so that its handlebar rests on the fourth step up
* A pair of Vans with a dinosaur drawn on the right toe
* Leopard-printed bikini bottoms (unfortunately, turned inside out)
* The beer pong table to end all beer pong tables whose top was covered in a complex pattern of colored beer caps
* A gas can, always empty
* A very, very large, almost mutant bug
* Two window screens left out in the rain
* A box marked Romaine Hearts containing heaps of semi-rotting fruit (crabapples?)
* Kitty Friend, a very friendly black and white cat wearing a tinkly-belled collar
* A large black funnel that The Barrister contends is still around somewhere
* A frisbee
* A note reading "Hi, B1. I'm A2. Do you have my FedEx package?"