Selsun Bloobs

In a recent conversation with STGD, I lamented that the situation with Kudzu had led to a flare-up of the uncontainable folliculitis. And while I expected a misery-loves-company agreement from my fellow folliculitian, I was surprised to hear him say that he no longer suffered from the skin affliction. Do tell!

Apparently, after realizing that the Selsun Blue he was using on his hair was sudsing down over his face and clearing up irritation there, he made a point of washing his face with Selsun Blue. And his face is an unmarred canvas of flesh-toned flesh. "I'm off meds," he said. "And creams. I just use the Selsun Blue." The conversation continued in an exchange horrifyingly reminiscent of every cringe-worthy feminine hygiene product commercial known to womankind.

Could this be the answer? After I'd been told it was heat rash and nearly pickled myself with vinegar compresses. After it was diagnosed as acne and I went through rounds of one of the -cyclines only to end up with a torn up stomach and sunburn. After tubes of Benadryl cream. And rounds of antibiotics to clear up infection. And the multi-step process I currently use - two creams and cornstarch powder - to keep the red, itching mass at bay. And all I need is some dandruff shampoo???

I didn't want to hope, but I found myself in Wal-Mart the following weekend, picking up some Selsun Blue. And the next morning...I shampooed my boobs.

The improvement was remarkable. Suddenly, a whole new world opened to me. V-necks! And scoop-necks! And baring the flesh below my chin! Now that it's getting into the summertime, I really appreciate not having to wear a turtleneck to disguise my leprosy.

So, now I guess S., The Graphic Designer is also S., The Genius Dermatologist. Where do I send my copay?